Well friends (I shall just assume if you are reading this you are friend, it makes life a lot more fun) today I wanted to do something a little different. The last few blogs I have written have just kind of been talking about my Bible study time, but I like to write tiny stories (smaller then a short story) and I have had one stuck in my head since this morning. Read John 22:30-46, this is when Jesus prays right before he is arrested and taken before Pilate to eventually be crucified. I don't know the mind of Jesus and this is just my interpretation, a fiction interpretation of Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemane but I hope you enjoy, I am calling this
"The Garden from His Eyes"
"As I walk to the garden I look at my friends, they know something is going on yet they don't fully understand what. I want them to see but their hearts aren't ready to accept the truth. Though we have spent the last three years together, they don't understand that I have not come to kill what they see as evil and rescue what they deem good. I have come to show the world that I love them, that my Father loves them and wants them to be with him. The next few hours are so important, I know that my time has come, I will be killed very soon. My heart aches at the thought of what will be done to me. I love my Disciples, I love every person who comes to hear me speak. The pain that I will suffer through will be worth it but Father please! Is there any other way? Must I go through torture? Must I have them all turn away from me, do I have to live through you turning your back on me and denying me as your son even for a moment? Must I take on the world? Every evil thing that one of these creations that were made in our image has done, their guilt, their pain, every tear they have ever cried, every angry thought and word that has come out of their mouth; must I carry it?! God is there any other way?!
The pain and anguish is so much Father, I am shaking and my sweat tastes like blood in my mouth, Father I will do anything for these people, I love them so much, I just want them to understand our love for them. They are so precious to me. We did not create them to leave them in their misery, yet they do not see that what we have for them is more then there earthly riches. No gold can buy the peace I have to give them. I will do your will Father, thank you for sending the angels to give me strength this night. For I know what tomorrow brings. I will see those whom I have created turn their backs and tell me to die. Oh Father it breaks my heart. I must carry their pain, for I am their only hope. If they are too ever be with us forever one day I must die. I cannot wait for the day they find me alive again, for they day suddenly understand what I have done. Our spirit will no longer live in a temple but our spirit will be able to live in them. Daily, hourly, by the minute they will be able to speak to us. Dear Father these are the last few hours before you turn your back on me for carrying the punishment for our Children's acts of selfishness, and pride. I will see you again soon Father, as will those who see what I have done and understand that I have freed them from their guilt and shame.
Give me strength to be tortured Father, to be beaten, to be spit on, give me the strength to bear thorns they will push into my head. The strength to survive the whips that will tear the meat from bones and the suffocation as I hang from that cross. They are worth it father, so worth it. No matter what they have done, as I hang on that cross I will take it, I will take everything and they won't have to carry the burden of their own pain anymore. This is what we have been waiting for Father, our relationship will soon be restored. I cannot wait for that day. "
John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his only son that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life".
When Jesus walked away from prayer that night, he knew that horrors and pain would be all that was going to await him till he died. But he also knew that he would come back, it was the coming back that proves he is God, it is the fear, the anguish, the pain, the exhaustion that proves he was human for the short time he walked this earth. Jesus walked away from being worshiped constantly to walk on a nasty dirty earth, to feel pain, hunger, loss, heart break. He wanted to show us that he knows how we feel, he knows our pain. He literally died to take our pain away. While writing this I have been trying not to cry, Jesus has taken so much of my own pain away. I tell the straight truth right now that if it were not for Jesus I would not be alive today. I used to struggle with severe depression, I thought I was useless and a worthless human being, but one day when I was low and about to commit suicide, I heard a voice, no one was in my house; but I heard a voice clear as day tell me to stop, that there is more in this life for me and that I needed to tell more people that there is more in this life for them too. Give your hurt to Jesus, he can handle it, he wants to handle it. Let him take your anger, let him take your pain and give you hope. Hope is so much better then pain. I still have moments of depression and sadness, but no matter how many times I lose track of God, God never loses track of me, he is ALWAYS willing to take me in his arms and whisper to me that he loves me, that he forgives me. I know he is willing to do the same for you. No one loves you more then the God who left everything to die, so that you could spend your life with him.
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