Gods Favorite Moments

I have been wrestling over the past few weeks about why I have had to go through a lot of the crap that I have gone through in my life. I think many of you my friends can relate to this. There have been situations that we have lived through that we wish we hadn’t or we feel was completely unnecessary. I think this is normal. No one likes to talk about what has made them cry, or when they hit rock bottom. I love making people laugh not cry, so telling my story isn’t exactly something I like to do. It is embarrassing and frankly, who wants to be that vulnerable with anyone?

After asking God to help me understand why I have had to live through depression, suicide attempts, sexual abuse, physical abuse and emotional abuse God used my pastor this morning to suddenly shine a bit of light on this puzzle. This is what my pastor described.

Imagine there is a Father who loved his child more than life itself; he would do anything to protect that child. One day there was a huge storm, a frightening experience where the Father had to pick up his child and carry him through the most frightening moment of his life. The Father never felt closer or more attached then in this moment, as he held his son to his chest willing to sacrifice his life for his child while braving the elements. By the time he reached safety his son was rather soaked and terrified but he had made it through. The Father was so relieved that his child made it through, he had never felt closer to his son then when their two hearts were beating in fear as one, as they made it through the storm. This moment bonded them together as nothing else possibly could.

But…

Imagine that child, though his father carried him through the storm, protected him from the worst, went to a psychologist saying that he was damaged from that storm. That storm ruined his life; he can never trust his Father again for taking him to that place where he could be put in harm’s way. The rain, lightning and thunder still cause fear to flash through his heart. He hates speaking to over even being around anything that would remind him of his Father because of that day.

They are two very different emotions and thoughts about the same event. The Father was bonded in love in protection, keeping his child from the worst while the child could only think of the fear that he experienced. In turn he refused his Father’s love; he refused to be close to him in the same way his Father wanted to be close.

As my Pastor described this scene in Church I could not help the tear

s well up in my eyes. There have been so situations that I have practically cursed God for making me go through them. Where I have told God that those moments ruined me, they broke me. I would never be the same… and yet. I lived through those experiences. God brought me through them. Looking back those were the moments that truly brought me closest to my heavenly Father, the moments where I had to rely on Him the most, where after the longest time of not hearing his voice, I heard his voice more clearly than ever before.

My heart truly broke. Often times my own stupidity has brought me into some of the tough parts of my life, sometimes it was through the evil of others that has caused me to suffer. Each time my God has been there with me, and will always be there with me. No that doesn’t excuse the abuse I have had to live through, and no it doesn’t make it all better instantly. But God treasure those moments because they are the moments where I truly turn to Him. Those are the moments where we are talking constantly and He really is my best friend.

God loves me and God loves you. More than anything He has created. When our lives turn horrible and we see no light at the end of the tunnel; when our hearts are breaking because of the evil this world has dumped on us; when we lose those who are closest to us, maybe instead of cursing God and screaming at him to make it better maybe instead of turning our backs on Him. Maybe just maybe we should turn to God and bond with Him, pour our hearts to Him. Life may not instantly get better, but at that point we have the God who created the Universe willing to be the one to carry us through it. We may get to other side a little wet. But at least we will be alive.

God’s favorite moments are the moments when we are actually communicating with Him. Keep up the talking and the listening. When God is trying to change our hearts and help us to understand it is never easy. He is teaching us a whole new language. The language of love. It is hard to learn but once we do, I think it will become our favorite language.